What's in a Name?

People always say English is a complex language and I'd agree... But, wow, Mandarin isn't exactly a cakewalk.

Thankfully, my dear friend Wei has offered to be a resource as we forge our way through translations and cultural nuances. Today, she gave us the gift of learning our son's name meaning. And while I can't share his Chinese name, I'm thrilled to share the meaning of each of his name characters:

Surname: Sun

Middle: Harmonious

Given: Friend

In this case, dear Shakespeare, I'd say a lot. Because, wouldn't you know, Nathan's middle name means Harmony. Yet another beautiful thread in this precious tapestry of our family story.

WE'RE MATCHED!!

The story is already so beautiful and I need to do it justice by writing the whole thing out in a coherent fashion. But for now, let it be known that WE HAVE BEEN MATCHED WITH OUR SON!!

We thought for sure we'd be adopting a little girl, but we came across a sweet, 2-year-old boy a few weeks ago who has captured our hearts. I'm not permitted to share his name, photo or information in public domains (like this blog), but you should know he's completely adorable and quite the fit for our family.

He's the one I mentioned in a previous post, a post where I was having major angst about being drawn to this sweet kiddo, yet hearing significant concerns and questions from our international pediatrician. All concerns were settled a few days ago, but we wanted to take time to prayerfully consider what would be the best for this little boy...would our family serve him in the way he absolutely deserves?

And we said YES! We're so honored to be matched with this precious boy and humbled to be his parents.

It's going to be a long 9 months :)

Unknown, cherished

It's been a over a week since I've posted, but I just felt like I couldn't. I could've talked about the psychologist appointment Nathan and I had today as per dossier requirements. I could've mentioned the fact that we finished everything due on our end of the Home Study and that we're just waiting for reference letters and the social worker. I could've said that we're completing as much of the dossier as possible without encroaching on the strange "date-window" where the documents can't be more than 5-6 months within the date of the total dossier submission. But, none of that matters comparatively...

On August 12th, I saw a pair of beautiful brown eyes that have crept into my thoughts of every waking hour since. This little boy with dark brown hair and a precocious grin has consumed my dreams of becoming a mama...again...

Last Friday we sent his information off to an international pediatrician who replied within hours asking for more information to give his best assessment as to this little boy's prognosis. Granted, I haven't cared as much about his assertions as I probably should. Hasn't Lachlan defied all the predictions made about him...against him? Why wouldn't this sweet boy from Hengyang, China be any different with a home full of love and a two parents completed devoted (not to mention a kickass big brother)?

Tonight, we got a call from our local, beloved ENT who reviewed his files. He gave honest, yet encouraging assessments. We also finally heard back from the orphanage with photos, current measurements and updated developmental information. It was one hour chock-full of information I've been waiting for since 10 o'clock last Friday...nearly a week! Now, we just pass this information back to the international pediatrician and wait for his updated response.

I have no doubt the doc will be skeptical...despite (or, perhaps, because of) adopting 3 children from China. However, it's up to Nathan and I to decide what's right for our family, knowing that God is in control.

If this whole process were up to me, I'd be fighting tooth and nail for this child. He's had my heart from the moment I laid eyes on him. But I'm confident that God has his story in place, as well as mine. If our tales could intertwine, it would be a joy and privilege. If He has another family in mind for this sweet boy, well, blessed are they.

For now, I'm thankful for what I've seen in the medical notes and updates. I'm confident  this boy has quite a future in store for him and he will always have someone advocating and praying for him in me. Continue on, cherished boy. You are loved and have a life of influence, joy and love in store for you. I will always root for you, whether near or far.

Home Study Duties Completed!

Our portion is done! More waiting for others :) Still in limbo: social worker visits, child abuse clearances, reference letters to be received and of course the final report. But for now, I celebrate!!

Dossier & Family

Well, Little One, you are way loved! There are so many safeguards in place to protect you and ensure you're entering a loving, secure home. That equates to a ton of paperwork and running around on our part...and you're worth it!

I spoke with AGCI about the dossier process today and it's a bit trickier than I predicted. It's going to mean that we ask various professionals including, doctors, psychologists and employers to get paperwork notarized on their own. It means that I have to just nod my head for now, knowing I don't fully understand the process, but that the agency will hold my hand as we get the point where I need to act. It means I continue to pray, remembering that I'm not in control and it's best that way.

I'm feeling a little overwhelmed today. Our the home study requires over 20 hours of adoption education. I've taken so. many. hours. of education today and have been tested. So far I've passed 3 test and am waiting to hear back on five more. My eyes have been opened as a result of the testing and the essay-style testing. Hardcore, y'all. But it's good and I choose to remain grateful rather than view it as a barrier between bringing my little girl home...obviously I've done some reflecting and praying on this subject :) With all that said, I remain optimistic and excited!!


Little One, we went as a family to Lachlan's final horse therapy for the season today. Will you benefit from horse therapy? If so, we'll make sure you have it. If not, guess what? Our speech therapist does sibling rides and will ensure you have the chance to ride a horse if you so desire. We will make sure you have what you need to grow and thrive. And we told a bunch of family and close friends about our pursuit of you. Many people are praying for you now...please know that you are loved deeply already. We think of you an pray for you constantly. We look forward to your homecoming.

Dossier process begins!

I just got off the phone with Julie at AGCI and we're starting the dossier process! Additionally, she sent the link for the Adoption Education classes, nearly 20 hours of courses covering a variety of topics.

I guess my late-night Parenthood binge-watching will be halted for a bit :) HA. Irony.

And maybe we'll soon announce that we're adopting?!!?!?!?! Ahhhhhhh! This was the point that I wanted to get to before telling the world...and now we're here?! I'm excited, but also feel strange that this is such a long journey. Will people get that? Well, I guess they'll learn alongside me, right?

Thank you, Lord, for bringing us to this point!

And a short note for our kiddo...

Little one, we went to the zoo today and I thought about you no less than a dozen times. I am so excited to share these moments with you, to teach you, to watch you and your brother interact. Today he loved the Cavy and the Green Tree Monitor best. So obscure! What will you enjoy observing? What will be your favorite? Will you like to ride the carousel or just watch it endlessly like Lachlan? I can't wait to learn. I love you.

Whatever it takes, or how my heart breaks...

...I will be right here waiting for you. (while I ensure, for the thousandth time that my ringer is on high and feverishly hit refresh on my inbox)

You know, just channeling my inner Richard Marx while being a bit melodramatic.

Learning to be patient is so hard, dang it! It's not like you just pray for the gift of patience and it comes floating from heaven on a soft cloud, ribbon-tied. Nope... It comes in the form of waiting for people to call back. Waiting for people to get back from vacations (how dare they take time off work?! haha). Waiting for the system.

Both of my main points-of-contact for the adoption agency and our home study agency are out of the office this week. I've filled out all the papers and submitted all the things... but I'm in a holding pattern and me no likey! I wanna get this show on the road. I think I just need to copy the HTML code for this post because I predict that the whole adoption journey is one big (loving, awesome, beautiful) waiting game.

I like how this verse below repeats itself, as if knowing I need to be told more than once so I might retain! HA!

Psalm 27:14 - Wait for the Lord; be strong, and let your heart take courage; wait for the Lord!

Announcement Soon?

All God's Children International should be approving our application any day now (they'll receive our first payment tomorrow). I'm so excited to share with the world that we're expanding our family and keep wondering how we will do so?! We have a family photo that we'll share on social media, but I don't know how I'll word it all?! So exciting and fun to think about!

On a heavier note, my heart and faith have been tested a few times over the last several days and I'm so thankful that God always meets us in these moments of heartache. His word says that we should cast our burdens upon the Lord and He'll sustain us (Psalm 55). When I can submit, forgive or do any other action that is the opposite of being controlling (please tell me I'm not the only one who wants to be the boss of it all), that is outside of me and my naturally inclinations. It doesn't come easily and is only possible by the grace of God. I'm thankful for those pains -- it reminds me Who has my life in His mighty hand.

Little One, please know we pray for you every day and that we are also praying that God transforms us into His likeness so that we can be better parents for you. We love you more than you know.